Curtain opens, spotlights the gentleman
Signing his love letter, "best wishes, simpleton"
Dialogue swam from his pen like polliwogs.

He knew better that perfume was gravity,
Pulling him closer to what could be tragedy,
Love is blind, deaf, and dumb, but nevermind

You'd better catch me when I fall.
I'm on my rollerskates. (Whoo-hoo-hoo)
'Cause any ole way that I fall,
I land in your arms, even though it's wrong
'Cause I love my new mistake.

Intermission gave way to a miracle
The birth of an accident grew to a spectacle
that couldn't wait
the Mother was three weeks late.

So Father Mason clutching his crucifix
baptized the baby in whiskey and licorice
what a lovely way
drowning sins and tooth decay

Looks like our hero's gonna fall.
The bough's about to break. (Whoo-hoo-hoo)
'Cause any ole way that I fall
I land in your arms as we lie awake
with our lovely new mistake.

You'd better catch me when I fall.
My sugar trim for thee.
'Cause any ole way that I fall
I land in your arms even though it's wrong
'cause I love my new mistake

The ending turned tragic when many years later
the baby had grown up and married a pop singer
I guess it was her turn to make her first mistake.

Any ole time at all.
Any ole way that I fall.
Any ole time at all.
Any ole way that I fall.
Any ole time at all.
(Anytime I can't stop falling, I just lie awake with my new mistake)